Saturday, April 15, 2006

Rock My Funky Tax Holiday

You know those stupid yet sometimes illuminating web memes that people contagiously follow, answering questions like "ten things you don't know about me" and putting them on their blog before tagging the next person? I've never participated in one of those but here's one thing you may not know about me:

I always file taxes on the last possible day.

I know this comes as a surprise to some of you, because you view me as this eccentric yet organized individual. Bzzt! Organization to me means putting everything made of paper into a giant pile in my office which will be periodically rummaged through when an important document is needed, but otherwise untouched until "Sorting Day," an unofficial holiday in my life which usually falls on April 14th, but sometimes gets stretched out to the 15th or even 16th.

This year, Sorting Day would fall on either today or tomorrow. The "bonus weekend days" before tax deadline. I file on the last day, but usually have enough wisdom to know that shit is going to hit the fan big time if I attempt to also do the sorting on the deadline date. So in a typical year I would be digging through that paper pile right now.

But normally I didn't live in Massachusetts! Welcome to freaky eff-the-rest-of-the-country pilgrimsville. Thanks to our state's fine Patriot's Day holiday (in honor of the Battle of Lexington and Concord), we're being given an extra day to file taxes this year. Shit like this never happened in California. It's the distinct scent of government palm greasing in the air. Massachusetts just gets its way more than California, even though we are a pinko liberal commie state just like ya'll.

To make things even sweeter, all the states around us who don't even celebrate Patriot's Day (Maine also does) get a free ride on our wacky holiday. Because Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New York, Vermont and the District of Columbia are all send their tax returns to our Andover, MA IRS processing center, they're not obliged to file until Tuesday, either.

Thus setting a new record: Sorting Day 2006 falls on April 17th! Booyeah!

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1 comment :

Douglas said...

That's funny. I have a very similar organization scheme except I tend to go through them every 6 months.